i see you white gurrrl.
From May thru July I threw a series of events for Bacardi. After weeks upon weeks traveling to 10 different cities, I became a wizard at making and drinking said drinks. It must be noted, this sort of wizard does not wear a cheesy hat. They wear knitted halter tops and Haviana flip flops; the ones with heels. I can also spot a raunchy mojito from a mile away. Well, at least a straw away.
So I was throwing a party in Chicago at this joint called the Evil Olive. I always love throwing parties in Chi-town because I get to see Taylor and Jared, and of course dance with Jared as Taylor stands to the side swaying his hips to the “beat”. And to the left…to the right…attaboy Taylor. The party was a success and K-Rob, myself and our Chicago team begin to wrap up the event. My team being Ruben, Speed, Biz and Demo.
After the event K-Rob and I were going to go to the Violet Hour to get us a schnazzy adult beverage and unwind. Ruben, Speed, Biz and Demo quickly thwart those plans. They informed me that THEY would be taking us out to see THEIR Chicago. I put down my cucumber gin gimlet in succession.
The boys take us to Divine in Wicker Park. We walk into this awesome hood club and I am immediately approached by this huge dude. He’s a rapper named Really Doe and is on Kanye’s label. I had met him in March at SXSW and he remembered me. Here is where the looks begin. He walks up and gives me a nice embrace. We chit chat for a bit and then I move towards the back in my bright yellow dress, big gold necklace and black patent leather high tops towards the DJ who was next to the lady with the large ass shaking her bidness in a cage. I couldn’t help but to think about how many calories she must burn. If you could measure calories in buckets, I’d say she sweated out about 4.75 buckets worth of cals.
The DJ is playing good sounds and keeps giving these hilarious shout outs the entire time. ”What what, it’s LaNeisha’s birthday…….What what, $2 Long Island Iced Teas!!” As the DJ is doing his thing, Ruben keeps popping bottles of champagne and sending them our way. Keep in mind I am the only white person up in this piece. Swag surfin comes on and Speed shows us the ways. K-Rob then became obsessed. DJ comes back on with his shout outs. ”What what, buy LaNeisha a drink…..what what, buy 1 get 1 free….” In the midst of the shouting I hear something in the hood wind. The DJ pipes over the mic…”what what, I SEE YOU WHITE GURL…” as I raise my glass of champage in my beacon of whiteness and yellow dress. People laughed and pointed. I resumed white person dance with side step and slight shoulder shrug. It was a night for the books.
